Has someone at work offended you so badly and failed to apologize?
If you said yes, then we have something in common.
These are common occurrences in the workplace and, unfortunately, they are not always properly addressed.
There was a time when a coworker of mine spoke with me in such a condescending tone and belittled me in front of my other peers. To say I was embarrassed is an understatement, but beyond that, I was enraged. How could this person speak to me with such disrespect and think it’s normal? All the while that this coworker was going on and on, I had a series of comebacks lined up in my head, but I remained quiet and did not utter a word. After she finished speaking, I walked back to my desk, put in my headphones and listened to my music the rest of the day. The entire time, I kept replaying that scenario in my head all day.
I knew within me that I deserved an apology and so that entire week, I waited and waited. After not receiving an apology, I brought up the situation to my superior, simply for her to be aware of what occurred. I was not expecting her to reprimand that coworker, but I really just wanted to get it off my chest.
For days, I could not stand working with this person and even seeing them walk the hallways of our workplace made me angry all over again. What bothered me was that they clearly saw nothing wrong with their actions. I realized that this was eating me up and negatively affecting my mood at work and so I finally decided to let it go. Was it easy? Absolutely not. I so badly wanted her to say, “I’m sorry,” but it was obvious that it was not going to happen and I had to make the decision to move on.
As I stated in the beginning, these things happen in the workplace and we have to learn how to apply wisdom when dealing with them. Below are some steps to help you reach a place of forgiveness:
- Understand that not everyone has the same manners as you.
- Find something that will calm you (i.e – go for a walk, listen to music).
- Talk to someone you trust about the situation.
- When you’re calm, address the person and let them know how their actions made you feel.
- Decide in your heart to let go of any bitterness for your own sake.
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 (New Living Translation)
Humanly Yours,
Abenah