“Emma, I want you to talk to my son for me. I’m trying to explain to him why he should study nursing in school, but he won’t listen to me.”
A few years back, one of the parents at my church came to me asking me to help her convince her son to major in nursing because of the guaranteed job security. She was certain that her son would have no problem getting a job in the future if he majored in nursing. Her son, however, wanted to major in Engineering, and had no intentions of changing his mind. My response to the parent was that I would give her a call so that we could discuss.
How can we convince our parents that nursing or law isn’t the only career path that is available to us, let alone the best fit for us?
For many of us who come from multicultural households, our parents grew up in a time where career paths weren’t as diverse as they are today (especially back home in Africa). In many countries, nursing is a career that’s in high demand given the aging population, the severity of existing and emerging diseases, and the complexity of health insurance. That might explain why many Africans lean toward that profession.
Our parents migrated to the United States and other developed countries to make sure that their children would have a better future. They worked long hours, multiple jobs, sometimes in unfavorable conditions, just to cater to their families. Can we blame them for wanting to make sure that their children don’t have to endure what they did? Of course not. When they suggest that their child consider nursing, it’s because they know that it’s a job that will be around for many years to come and that their child will almost always have a stable stream of income. Our mothers and fathers aren’t always aware of all the other careers that are available. Moreover, they may not know much about the nature of the industry or job that their child is drawn to. Many of them didn’t get to follow their passions because they didn’t have the opportunity to do so. The point here is that parents don’t always understand where we are coming from when we talk about following our passions and making a career of it.
This doesn’t mean that you have to choose a career path that you’re not interested in just to appease your parents. If it’s important to you and you’re truly passionate about it, there are ways to help your parents understand your stance. In any relationship, communication is key, but comprehension is what makes it all worthwhile. Our parents want to hear us out, but they need more than the phrase “because that’s what I want to do”.
Here are some tips on how to get our parents to understand:
- Give honor and respect to your parents and apply wisdom when talking to them.
- Don’t talk down to them if they have trouble understanding, if they don’t know, educate them.
- If there’s a career that you’re interested in, do your research on it, list out how you can advance in that career, and have information that can answer any potential questions your parents may have.
- Explain to your parents what makes you so passionate about this field, tell them what your plans are, explain how you plan on reaching your goals, and ask them for their support.
They may not agree with you right away, but the more you communicate with them and the more they see the passion with which you speak, they are more likely to support you.
It may not be an easy task getting our parents to support our career decisions, but with determination, it is possible for you to follow your dreams. Believe me when I say that one day, your parents will proudly point you out to their friends and say: “That’s my child right there.”
Proverbs 23:24-25 (MSG): “The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise. So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy.”
Humanly Yours,
Abenah