How in the world was I going to do it? My newborn son was 12 weeks old, COVID-19 was still rampant, and it was time for me to return to work in a virtual environment. As my return date started approaching , I began to wonder if I was cut out to be a full time working mom in a virtual world. I reached out to friends who had younger children at home with them to see how they were doing and when I heard the challenges that it came with, I debated putting in a letter of resignation so I could focus on being a mom. My husband and I discussed it, we prayed on it, and I decided to keep my job.
The beginning stages when our son was young weren’t too difficult. He would fall asleep most of the day, which gave me and my husband the freedom to work with minimal distractions. There were times when I’d have to feed him while I was in an important meeting and times when his dad would rock him at the very minute that he needed to submit a time-sensitive project. As Jay grew older and became more mobile, the dynamics of work shifted for my husband and I. We both had to always be alert and make sure that he wasn’t climbing up something or trying to pull something down. Jay began to crave for more attention; he wanted to play with us more, and go for walks and do many things that unfortunately we sometimes couldn’t do because of our work duties. The thought of quitting work came into my mind again, but I continued to push through.
If we’re being honest, sometimes I lose patience with my son because I just want five uninterrupted minutes to finish up a task. He’s only 18 months, so he doesn’t always understand that mommy and daddy have to work and I don’t blame him. I always pray for God to give me unending patience and love because Jay is a gift that I prayed for. Thankfully, my husband and I have now found ways to help us balance parenting and working from home.
How do we find the balance?
- We chose a work schedule that would help us both maximize my time with Jay. I start work at 7AM while he is still asleep so that I can accomplish some of my tasks before he wakes up for the day. My husband begins work at 9AM which gives him the ability to feed Jay breakfast and get him bathed and dressed for the day. During the time that we are working in the mornings, Jay will play around and do activities to keep him busy. We usually have lunch together, after which Jay takes a nap for some time so that he can rest while we get back to work. By the time I get off work around 3:45 PM, I can give my son undivided attention and enjoy the rest of the afternoon with him.
- Preparing for the day ahead of time: This can mean many different things for different people. For our house, it’s laying out our son’s outfit at night or as soon as I wake up for the day. It also means having quick meals prepared so that lunch doesn’t take up the full lunch hour.
- Communicating with colleagues and supervisors was very vital. I had to let them know that I have a son who is at home with me and so they may see or hear him from time to time. My husband and I both came to understand that we are not the only ones with kids at home. Some colleagues are taking care of parents, spouses, and other relatives and understand our home dynamics. Because of this, I was never shy to put Jay on my lap during team meetings because everyone knew he was around.
- Ask for help from relatives or friends when you are overwhelmed. It can be hard to leave your child for the first time, but as a parent you need to take breaks. If you have the means and you have a community around you, ask for help when you need it.
- Be flexible. Your routine won’t always work the way you want to and that is okay; just allow yourself to flow with how the day goes.
These are simply things that we do that help us. It’s nowhere near perfect, but it helps us keep some balance with work. There are days when Jay wants me to hold him while I’m busy working on a project, and I wish he would give me some time alone, but I choose to soak up all those moments because they grow so quickly.
You are not a bad employee because you have to go get your child a snack or change a diaper during a meeting. You are not a bad parent because you got a little impatient or short with your child. Give yourself grace and believe that you were built and prepared for a time such as this.
If you are in a position where you find it hard to balance, I hope these tips have helped you. You are doing a great job at parenting and your kiddos will forever cherish you!
Humanly Yours,
Abenah
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9